The Belly of the Beast
I think to myself, through my
anxious anxiety, I could have
changed the outcome…
If only I had caught the next train.
If only I’d not had insomnia the night before.
If only, within the belly of the Beast, I’d ran faster down the escape stairs.
I thought to myself, as my body
leered and was jolted about,
I’ll never see you again.
And I am sorry that you will hang on
with faded hope.
And I am sorry that so many more will perish.
And I am sorry that the skies
will still remain so blue, as they had been this morning,
When your emotions lie within
the belly of the Beast.
Do not succumb to the Beast
Do not succumb to the Beast.
anxious anxiety, I could have
changed the outcome…
If only I had caught the next train.
If only I’d not had insomnia the night before.
If only, within the belly of the Beast, I’d ran faster down the escape stairs.
I thought to myself, as my body
leered and was jolted about,
I’ll never see you again.
And I am sorry that you will hang on
with faded hope.
And I am sorry that so many more will perish.
And I am sorry that the skies
will still remain so blue, as they had been this morning,
When your emotions lie within
the belly of the Beast.
Do not succumb to the Beast
Do not succumb to the Beast.
China Doll
The still of the night assists me to slumber, only to be awakened ever-so-shortly with the complete inability to regain repose.
My vividly developing mind, plays and replays the most sensual touch to my lips one has ever felt.
The caress of children first exploring eachother's secrets ever-so-delicately, almost as if I had been a China doll, and you, afraid to break me.
I feel the cool sheets brush against my nearly naked body and anxiously await the moment in time when it will be your skin providing me refuge from the darkness.
I listen attentively to the non-existant clamor that had once engulfed my mind. I peer into the darkness that had also dwelled there and I no longer see the face of Betrayal.
It is only yours that I see, filled with the sweetness and a sensitivity unsurpassed by any other that I have known.
At this very instant, when my heart has finally allowed me to release itself from the past, yours has empowered you to cling so furiously to it.
For as I lie in my bed, you have welcomed the night air as a fever-cooling mentor.
I can only imagine the tortuous path of your heart and soul on this evening of evenings, as you envision ways in which to avoid shattering the China doll.
My vividly developing mind, plays and replays the most sensual touch to my lips one has ever felt.
The caress of children first exploring eachother's secrets ever-so-delicately, almost as if I had been a China doll, and you, afraid to break me.
I feel the cool sheets brush against my nearly naked body and anxiously await the moment in time when it will be your skin providing me refuge from the darkness.
I listen attentively to the non-existant clamor that had once engulfed my mind. I peer into the darkness that had also dwelled there and I no longer see the face of Betrayal.
It is only yours that I see, filled with the sweetness and a sensitivity unsurpassed by any other that I have known.
At this very instant, when my heart has finally allowed me to release itself from the past, yours has empowered you to cling so furiously to it.
For as I lie in my bed, you have welcomed the night air as a fever-cooling mentor.
I can only imagine the tortuous path of your heart and soul on this evening of evenings, as you envision ways in which to avoid shattering the China doll.
Don’t Keep it Warm
(spoken word)
I moved out of his bed today to the room down at the end of the hall
don’t keep it warm for me
he moved out of my heart long ago
like a poet’s words sprung from the blank page
but like my unborn children
he wasn’t every really there
(a laugh) – been around the block? Forget about goin’ ‘round the block; I’ve been around the
world
tryin’ to keep this warm
and my friends on babys 2 and 3
I had a dream the other night – that I could fly up outta my middle class rage
Just tryin’ to keep my shit warm
Keep it inside our four walls I was always told (tilt my head to the right), brought up that
way
And now my four walls, my four walls couldn’t ever be high enough to keep my shit from
leakin’ out and from getting’ everything ugly
Gotta stop keepin’ it warm
I moved out of his bed today but he moved out of my heart long ago
(a laugh) – through sickness and in health? He couldn’t even tie my shoes when my belly
was past the point of seeing the light of day
don’t keep it warm for me
he moved out of my heart long ago
like a poet’s words sprung from the blank page
but like my unborn children
he wasn’t every really there
(a laugh) – been around the block? Forget about goin’ ‘round the block; I’ve been around the
world
tryin’ to keep this warm
and my friends on babys 2 and 3
I had a dream the other night – that I could fly up outta my middle class rage
Just tryin’ to keep my shit warm
Keep it inside our four walls I was always told (tilt my head to the right), brought up that
way
And now my four walls, my four walls couldn’t ever be high enough to keep my shit from
leakin’ out and from getting’ everything ugly
Gotta stop keepin’ it warm
I moved out of his bed today but he moved out of my heart long ago
(a laugh) – through sickness and in health? He couldn’t even tie my shoes when my belly
was past the point of seeing the light of day
Earth’s Rhythm
The trees sing a chorus of green.
All harmonies tightly woven
as they sway within their own music.
Chartreused tipped, dappled in silver,
we can see it all as they rock their bellies to our view.
Below them medium gray-green,
keeping in time with their elders
and brownish speckled sisters, at the foot of the orchestra.
A smiling, happy family playing to the wind.
Their whispers beckon to babies at the footlights,
they all stare agape at the land before them.
I want to join them, to close my eyes
And move to the Earth’s rhythm.
All harmonies tightly woven
as they sway within their own music.
Chartreused tipped, dappled in silver,
we can see it all as they rock their bellies to our view.
Below them medium gray-green,
keeping in time with their elders
and brownish speckled sisters, at the foot of the orchestra.
A smiling, happy family playing to the wind.
Their whispers beckon to babies at the footlights,
they all stare agape at the land before them.
I want to join them, to close my eyes
And move to the Earth’s rhythm.
Escape
Street lights glare
Through the window
Sounds below are silenced
By voices in my head
Surrounded
But then I realize
You just can’t be
Part of this craziness, insanity
You just can’t be
Suffocating
You just can’t be
Watching and waiting
You just can’t be
complicating me…
So I will turn to go
You just can’t be
Free – break free
Through the window
Sounds below are silenced
By voices in my head
Surrounded
But then I realize
You just can’t be
Part of this craziness, insanity
You just can’t be
Suffocating
You just can’t be
Watching and waiting
You just can’t be
complicating me…
So I will turn to go
You just can’t be
Free – break free
I Know
I know that you don't look at me
With the cat's claw and with a
Sparrow's song,
Even though I want that
I know that every time your breathless
Gaze falls upon me, my heart
Stops beating,
Even though it shouldn't
I know that mentor and tormentor
Love in peaceful, obscured harmony
To be exact,
Although they don't and it isn't
I know that one day the demons of heaven and of hell
Will swallow the Wretched whole.
Thorough as all of the wants and
Shouldn'ts and don'ts and isn'ts
With the cat's claw and with a
Sparrow's song,
Even though I want that
I know that every time your breathless
Gaze falls upon me, my heart
Stops beating,
Even though it shouldn't
I know that mentor and tormentor
Love in peaceful, obscured harmony
To be exact,
Although they don't and it isn't
I know that one day the demons of heaven and of hell
Will swallow the Wretched whole.
Thorough as all of the wants and
Shouldn'ts and don'ts and isn'ts
In the Twilight of Our Demise
In the twilight of our demise
the swollen moon’s light fell full on my bed
as I begged night’s slumber to put distance between you and I.
But sleep did not come.
The most enchanted night of my life had
come and gone
So quickly it was almost like a phantom dream…
holding onto forever within my arms.
I leaned into your body, and became so perfectly nestled that I felt
like a mother’s child, comforted and protected within
the safety of your warmth, as you caressed me into sobriety.
We drank in each other’s essence,
cooled eachother’s lips
and mutually felt the love of a lifetime within a few short hours…
desire, want, passion emanating from deep within the bowels of Eternity’s embrace.
It was like being a child and not wanting Summer to come to an end.
the swollen moon’s light fell full on my bed
as I begged night’s slumber to put distance between you and I.
But sleep did not come.
The most enchanted night of my life had
come and gone
So quickly it was almost like a phantom dream…
holding onto forever within my arms.
I leaned into your body, and became so perfectly nestled that I felt
like a mother’s child, comforted and protected within
the safety of your warmth, as you caressed me into sobriety.
We drank in each other’s essence,
cooled eachother’s lips
and mutually felt the love of a lifetime within a few short hours…
desire, want, passion emanating from deep within the bowels of Eternity’s embrace.
It was like being a child and not wanting Summer to come to an end.
Issues Between Light and Dark
Just one more push and you’ll be on your own.
Too damn drunk and tired
now alarms should ring and
I don’t think that Johnny can
provide you the refuge you seek.
No matter how long you stare into her eyes
they are not the blue radiant pools of love,
heart and soul you see in front of you.
I would have given all you had ever dreamed of
and almost in the blink of an eye
you wished me away
like a child scared, alone and in the dark,
afraid of the monster in the closet.
Too damn drunk and tired
now alarms should ring and
I don’t think that Johnny can
provide you the refuge you seek.
No matter how long you stare into her eyes
they are not the blue radiant pools of love,
heart and soul you see in front of you.
I would have given all you had ever dreamed of
and almost in the blink of an eye
you wished me away
like a child scared, alone and in the dark,
afraid of the monster in the closet.
It Is I
Fear not the unforeseen,
for it is I,
with my perfect imperfections, who can hold you still,
amidst the madness of the world outside.
It is I,
who sees deep, the pools of truth within your soul and
It is yours whose truth, I take as my own.
See me for what I am, as I see you,
and acknowledge that I mirror this truth
just as still waters mirror the sky we both live under,
love under.
Without you,
life is a void;
with you I want for nothing for I have found
that
which had been lost before the finding.
for it is I,
with my perfect imperfections, who can hold you still,
amidst the madness of the world outside.
It is I,
who sees deep, the pools of truth within your soul and
It is yours whose truth, I take as my own.
See me for what I am, as I see you,
and acknowledge that I mirror this truth
just as still waters mirror the sky we both live under,
love under.
Without you,
life is a void;
with you I want for nothing for I have found
that
which had been lost before the finding.
The Man Who Wore Suede Sneakers
inspired by Christopher Bayes; clown, director, Dad.
The man who wore suede sneakers,
Crimson-red or black with stripes,
Converse All Stars, Nike, Puma,
They all were his delight.
Through rehearsals, shows and callbacks all
His feet were decked to the nines.
They held him up and gave him strength
His blocking was sublime.
Ismelda Marcos may be the queen,
And Popeye just a sailor.
But the man who wore suede sneakers is
the expert in sneaker regalia.
Crimson-red or black with stripes,
Converse All Stars, Nike, Puma,
They all were his delight.
Through rehearsals, shows and callbacks all
His feet were decked to the nines.
They held him up and gave him strength
His blocking was sublime.
Ismelda Marcos may be the queen,
And Popeye just a sailor.
But the man who wore suede sneakers is
the expert in sneaker regalia.
The Meeting
It was a coolish Autumn day as
Genevieve made her way through
bustling streets of the Upper East Side.
The Temple’s gated entrance loomed
Before her as she was questioned,
Searched and identified, in the wake of
a Mister Waster.
She made her way through the maze
of anesthetized, institutional
corridors to a meeting of Destiny.
To a meeting of minds in great sorrow.
To the meeting between
Genevieve and Bella.
Genevieve made her way through
bustling streets of the Upper East Side.
The Temple’s gated entrance loomed
Before her as she was questioned,
Searched and identified, in the wake of
a Mister Waster.
She made her way through the maze
of anesthetized, institutional
corridors to a meeting of Destiny.
To a meeting of minds in great sorrow.
To the meeting between
Genevieve and Bella.
Prince Charming
If the stillness is nice we can stay in it.
How often I’d believed that when
I had lain in your arms.
Coveted and protected by your unconditional, lovely and untamed love.
Each stroke of your hand, to the side of my face,
along my stomach or inner thigh,
equally created and reinforced the unattainable you which I sought
And which I will, regrettably, continue to seek.
A love like no other, or so I had thought.
We were an ideal that I could never have put my finger on
when I was a child.
Always imagining a Prince Charming,
who
never
really
existed.
How often I’d believed that when
I had lain in your arms.
Coveted and protected by your unconditional, lovely and untamed love.
Each stroke of your hand, to the side of my face,
along my stomach or inner thigh,
equally created and reinforced the unattainable you which I sought
And which I will, regrettably, continue to seek.
A love like no other, or so I had thought.
We were an ideal that I could never have put my finger on
when I was a child.
Always imagining a Prince Charming,
who
never
really
existed.
Spontaneous Combustion
The shutters split only a crack to leak light onto our lair
We move together and the look on your face is brilliant as we meld into one being
Easily and adeptly slipping into and out of my moist womb, searching, groping for our
unborn children you search out
My erect nipples anxiously awaiting your eager fingertips and tantalizing tongue
As we lay in the pool of the glow, you looking down onto me, I feel the truth of our
existence at this moment
Taking each other to a place where time stands still
And where the inability to comprehend anything other than
learning every nuance of each body’s form,
anything other than
the minutely radiant colors in the irises of your eyes,
during this eyes-locked gaze,
Mouths locked,
Arms, hands, legs locked together
Is lost to us as our universe takes on new meaning
This spontaneous, combustible plane of reality explodes in my mind,
Explodes in my heart,
Explodes in our loins
And speaking in the tongue of lovers you give me your secret.
We move together and the look on your face is brilliant as we meld into one being
Easily and adeptly slipping into and out of my moist womb, searching, groping for our
unborn children you search out
My erect nipples anxiously awaiting your eager fingertips and tantalizing tongue
As we lay in the pool of the glow, you looking down onto me, I feel the truth of our
existence at this moment
Taking each other to a place where time stands still
And where the inability to comprehend anything other than
learning every nuance of each body’s form,
anything other than
the minutely radiant colors in the irises of your eyes,
during this eyes-locked gaze,
Mouths locked,
Arms, hands, legs locked together
Is lost to us as our universe takes on new meaning
This spontaneous, combustible plane of reality explodes in my mind,
Explodes in my heart,
Explodes in our loins
And speaking in the tongue of lovers you give me your secret.
Copyright © 1995-2020, Kathryn Hayzer. All rights reserved. Site content may not be used without permission.